So, what have I been doing this week?
Apart from sleeping very well, I have tried to do some of the things which I am not normally able to do whilst I look after my husband.
I went to a painting class on Tuesday, just a small group led by a trained Art teacher. We all chose our own subject, though the other ladies were well on , having been going every week.
I chose to start a watercolour of roses, and wasnt displeased with the result, though it took me a long time to be confident again.
I shall perhaps find time to work on the sketch.
On Wednesday I did something purely for me....I had a shoulder massage and a facial at this lovely hotel in Falmouth.
Just to sit overlooking the water, have a little lunch and wander down for an appointment with a kind and gentle beautician. It relaxed me so much, and I knew I could take my time.
On Thursday I took a friend out for coffee, and we sat in the garden with our drinks and shared a piece of home made cake together.
On Friday, not so exciting, I took the car in for a Service, necessary and much easier when I wasnt watching the time.
In between all these 'freedom' moments, I popped in to see my husband, took strawberries, had a reassuring chat, and met some of the other people staying in the Nursing home. There are one or two, like my husband, just there for a couple of weeks to give their spouse a break.
We'll see what next week brings. Friends asked me to go and stay with them, but I would rather just rebuild myself at home.
I am so happy spending time in my own home, giving the garden more attention than usual, doing a little patchwork, reading.
It's a Slow lifestyle.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm sharing below, a piece of writing by Nicci Gerard , from her book
'What dementia teaches us about love'
It's one of the best and most understanding books that I have come across.
I hope this isnt too serious a subject.
The Carer
-taking on the tasks that used to be his, making decisions he used to make, taking over the finances, the diary keeper, the timekeeper. She stops him from getting lost, and finds him when he is.
She comforts him when he is anxious. She mops up his tears.
She tries not to become impatient when he repeats himself, or shows her impatience and then feels guilty.
What she does, day in, day out, is unseen, unvalued. She tries to hold onto her own self, but feels it is slipping away from her. She is the memory, the voice, the custodian of their past, the narrator of their story, the Gatekeeper.
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May your unfailing love rest upon us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.
Psalm 33, v 22
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May your unfailing love rest upon us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.
Psalm 33, v 22
22 comments:
You are spending your time so wisely and I am pleased to see you had some treats. Time in tje garden has to be the best. Blessings to you xxx
How lovely that you're making the most of these precious weeks!!
It's good to read about the care and rest you are getting during this time. So important. What a touching excerpt you shared from the book.
dear dear dear one!!!! I am so very very glad you are getting this rest. How much you need it... I would want to be home too and do things as you have.... that seems very wise and very needed too... what a poignant passage... I hope to mail you my belated letter to you soon... sending you a lot of love... and prayers for strength and restoration <3
oh and your painting is just exquisite!!!! truly beautiful!!!
Reading this reminds me of psalm 127:2, where the writer talks about the foolishness of rising early, staying up late, and worrying...because the Lord wants to bless those he loves with restful sleep. I am so grateful that you are being blessed with this precious time of respite. Relish every moment - facials, art classes, strawberries, conversations and cake! Xxx much love xxx
Ps thank you too for the quote & the book recommendation
Sounds like you are really taking the time to rebuild yourself. Your painting was a delight, you have a rare talent. The quote from the book made me think. I am going to try and order the book from the library.
I'm happy knowing you are getting some special rest and relaxation dear friend. Your rose painting is so very lovely - you should definitely frame it and enjoy it daily as you pass by into the garden.
Glad things are calm - hope things go well for M - both of you are in my thoughts.
Crossing the pond again tomorrow - at least it will be cooler thankfully.
Mary x
You are spending your time beautifully. So glad you giving yourself treats and moments to experience quietude and sweet repose as well as sharing moments with friends for coffee. Your rose painting is quite lovely! And that quote is very thoughtful (very needful) for so many caregivers these days. It helps us understand what you are experiencing. So thank you.
Wishing you love and grace...
Brenda xox
did you add the sketch? I don't think I saw it when I left my comment above - it's beautiful - you really must do more, you have a lovely style.
I'm so glad you are enjoying yourself and doing what you enjoy. Your roses are lovely! I've been to Falmouth many years ago, we were sort of stranded there and loved it.
The quote is sad, but true I'm sure. Hugs to you.
Dear Barbara, I loved reading your post. You certainly deserve a rest and time for yourself. I'm just beginning to feel the wear and tear that caregiving has on the body and the mind. It's certainly not for sissies.
I'm praying for you and your husband and wishing you both the very very best. Get some rest, have some fun and enjoy. God bless you sweet friend.
Connie
I forgot just say how lovely your watercolors are . . . Absolutely beautiful!
We have reached that stage of life where health issues become very much part of our day to day lives.
It must be so hard for you to watch and feel M’s frailty.
My heart goes out to you both.
I’m pleased to see that you can have a break and there is a reputable nursing home nearby where your husband is well cared for.
Your garden and roses look wonderful and I know it gives you so much pleasure! it’s lovely to know there are roses flowering elsewhere in the world!
I was thrilled with my new David Austen roses and The Alnwick Rose has done very well in a large terracotta pot.
Thank you for sharing the exerpt from Nicci Gerard’s book, I would like a copy to one.
Take care dear B, it’s times like this our Faith becomes our strength. Xx
Oh dear!
I meant… I will buy a copy too.... it’s not only Prince Harry who has problems with grammar!
Amen.
Dear, dear Barbara, I am so glad to read that you are relaxing a little, building yourself up at home and wit the things you love to do. The watercolour is lovely.
Big hugs and have a good second week. Thinking and praying for you and Malcolm.
Love, Carolien
I'm very late to read this post, but wanted to say how lovely it is that you are doing the things that refresh yourself. The quote you shared makes one think, and that is a good thing. May you find daily strength and grace as you resume caring for your dear M.
England certainly does a lot of things very well, such as having respite care available for carers. I am not aware of such a thing here, although it may just be that people I know have not availed themselves of it. In any case, I'm so glad that you are able to take this time to rest. I did not realize the extent of care your husband needed. Now that I know I can pray more specifically for you both.
Thank you for taking the time to share. I love your watercolor! What a lovely talent you have.
God bless you both . Yes It is good for you to take some time to rebuild yourself at home and in your beautiful garden . Healing hugs for you . love Debbie :) x
IT's been so long since I've visited my old favorite blogs and friends. I'm so happy you are creating the time to refresh yourself; it's so important! <3 Praying and thinking of you both during this time.
Thank you for sharing your story and the carer quote. My husband suffered a mild traumatic brain injury from a car accident over a year ago. It's been so hard for me to put into words what that quote said so perfectly. And I dare not even say those thoughts aloud. But what she said rang so true, it makes my eyes water. Rebuilding yourself is necessary when you are running the marathon. I'll be praying for you both. Mrs. Peasant, a fellow carer.
noblepeasants.blogspot.com
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